Humor

Jory John, Avery Monsen's All My Friends Are Still Dead (All my friends..., Book 2) PDF

By Jory John, Avery Monsen

From the authors of the breakout top vendor All my pals are dead (more than 100,000 copies offered) comes a brand-new illustrated compendium of the funny existential ruminations of individuals, animals, mythical monsters, and inanimate items.

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Additional resources for All My Friends Are Still Dead (All my friends..., Book 2)

Sample text

If she's not, you've got to treat her as if she's the most feminine creature since Scarlett O'Hara. Due to her dykerelated fears, she needs to be treated like a petite flower, even if she's an overgrown pituitary monster. This is one of the many instances when you have to shelve your instinctual asshole tendencies in order to bag some trippy chick. M. Sports—playing sports, discussing sports, reading about sports, watching sports on TV, knowing about sports, thinking about sports, telling stories about sports, remembering sports, clothes that have the word "sport" in them.

More than likely, she'll start sleeping with you out of sheer relief that somebody's taking care of her. If she doesn't, threaten to take it all away. If you can't, then start spreading nasty rumors, because that always makes you feel better. Limits High school chicks are usually pretty good about setting their limits and sticking to them. College chicks are all about going past their limits. They want to expand their minds, their Take advantage of this quickly before they develop any sense of selfcontrol.

At least she'll pay for dinner. herself and have a drink. You go the opposite way and tell her how much you respect her diligence. Bring her coffee late at night when she's studying. Eventually, she'll pass a big test and get frisky. When you bang her, do it hard. God knows, she needs it. whore off, and go find yourself a dime-beer night at a local pub. Even if you strike out, it's better than being forced to actually read something. Freshman Innocence, naivete, complete inability to get a clue.

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