New PDF release: A Treasury of Humorous Poetry

By Frederic Lawrence Knowles


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Additional info for A Treasury of Humorous Poetry

Sample text

And sure 'tis the mem'ry that gives me a pain; For scarce had I been in the tavern a minute Whin I fell a victim to Widow MacShane! 'Twas she was the landlord that thrated me dacent, And put me to bed wid a brick in me head; And put some more bricks in a bottle adjacent To kape out the cowld whin me arrum was bled. And be the same token I came for to love her, And ask'd her to thry the high-menial line; She called me " an in-sin-i-z/a-tin' young rover," And put her big mout on a fayture of mine!

Or only a trifle bigger Than the elves who surround the throne Of the Faery Queen, and are seen, I ween, By mortals in dreams alone? What her eyes were like, I know not: Perhaps they were blurr'd with tears; And perhaps in your skies there glow not (On the contrary) clearer spheres. N o ! as to her eyes I am just as wise As you or the cat, my dears. Her teeth, I presume, were " pearly: " But which was she, brunette or blonde? Her hair, was it quaintly curly, Or as straight as a beadle's wand ? That I fail'd to remark; — it was rather dark And shadowy round the pond.

What pass ? " the anxious father cried; " 'Twas the'r monopoly," the boy replied. In deference to the public, we must state That boy has been an orphan since that date. A TREASURY OF HUMOROUS POETRY 39 NfiOPHYTE Last night a zealous Irishman in town, Meeting a Jew, squared off and knocked him down. " Mike simply said: " Bedad, ye may be right, But then — I only heard of it last night! " And striking out reckless again, and loose, Becomes a martyr — in the calaboose. Theology and ignorance combined Make bigotry, and that makes all men blind; And streams of ruin from this common source Have swept the world with devastating force.

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